This is an ongoing series of lighthearted news parodies. Although they belong together, each can be read independently of the others.

Tim Talks Turkey - Extra! Extra! Tim makes excuses for not posting anything in eight months! A Timbits Newsflash Exclusive!
TIMBITS NEWSFLASH! Ebola Patient Released After Misdiagnosis - Man beats his Ebola diagnosis Love-Game.
OP-ED – Please, Please Use “OCD” Correctly - A psychologist's plea for the discriminate use of technical terms - a Timbits Newsflash
Media Storm Naming System Unveiled - Media hype to get the same treatment as winter weather! A Timbits Newsflash
The Whine Sommelier - Would you like to take your complaining to the next level? Our staff Whine Sommelier offers tips and critiques that could elevate even amateur grumbles to an art form. A Timbits Newsflash advice column.
Health Group Demands Grandma Cooking Ban - Nutritionists: You can't go home again without serious health risks. A Timbits Newsflash
CDC Locates Patient Zero in Yawn Epidemic - The most tiresome week since the Big Sleep of 1954 will finally come to an end. A Timbits Newsflash
Elmer’s Announces Low Carb Paste - Elmer's Products, Inc. is the latest company responding to the national call for healthier school supplies. A Timbits Newsflash

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